High and Lows and a New Week

"For every high, there is a low

For every stop, there is a go

And that's what makes the world go round."



Us under our tree in the quad on IUPUI campus.  We only had my purse to prop the camera on, so the shot is kind of funky. :)


Chloe is watching Sword and the Stone right now, and that's the song Arthur and Merlin sing while being fish.  It's pretty fitting for my weekend, really.

Let's start with the highs: First Date Remembrance Day was beautiful, exactly what we needed and wanted.  We started under our tree, where we shared so many meaningful conversations and our first kiss.  We had another lengthy and meaningful conversation that has led us to some very good decisions for our family. 

Next we walked to Herron School of Art and Design (Eskenazi Hall) where I used to spend hours sitting at a little table working on homework and waiting for Brian to emerge from his painting studio to pronounce he was finished and ready to leave. 

And lastly we stopped by the canal bridge overlook just behind Herron, where we met for the first time. 

Brian standing in the spot where he was drawing

The view he was drawing



His charcoal rendering of the view (never finished... he didn't like it enough). :)

And on to the lows: When we came home from First Date Remembrance Day, the good things we'd just worked on evaporated.  It's the same problem that prompted me to write the posts Why I Love My Husband and Living and Cooking with Leftovers.  We've worked on them very hard, with a lot of prayer, patience, love, and forgiveness.  We've learned to communicate better about the problem and fought hard against it.  We aren't perfect.  Sometimes it still pops up, always without warning and in pretty ironic incongruitiy from the remainder of the present.  Such as going on a wonderful date only to come home and be blind-sided. 

When this problem pops up like this, it hangs around like a menacing storm cloud for days.  Brian and I work hard to take extra care with each other, as if we can show the cloud how much we love one another and send him away.  Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.  Sometimes the cloud just looms like a threat, sometime it rains acid rain on all over us and digs us deeper into problems.  That's kind of what's happening right now. 

High: Yesterday we became official members of our church, which felt really wonderful.  Then we went to the Children's Museum with Brian's brother and his girlfriend, and our niece and his girlfriend's daughter.  All the kids had such a fun time playing and it was a really memorable time. 

Low: We came home and the cloud was waiting for us.  *sighs*

So now it's Monday.  The cloud is smirking at me, all pleased with himself, and I'm trying to fight him off.  Maybe a good house cleaning is what it'll take this time.  Yes.  That would help. 

Melancholy musings aside, we still had a great weekend overall, and the last week, despite colds all around, went really well, too.

This was Saturday morning breakfast: biscuits and gravy, crispy bacon, and fried potatoes and onions. 

My lasagna I made for orders and for us.  I did a new version after some heavy thought and was pretty pleased with the flavor.  Needs some tweeking, but we'll get there. :)



BBQ Chicken Nachos. (Recipe below).





And this is what's up to bat for this week.  I wound up making the bbq chicken nachos early, so I'll need a sub-in.  Oktoberfest never got made last week, so it'll probably be that.  I also made the Roman Pork pizza for dinner last night.  I couldn't get a decent photo of it, so didn't post it.  It's ok, I didn't much care for it anyway. 

As I type this the drunken beans are simmering away happily in the crockpot and will get served with tortillas and cheese.  If they're as tasty as they smell, then I'll provide a recipe.  I also made chicken adobo in the crockpot last week (it was on my menu just not on the board for some reason).  That recipe needs some work, but overall I felt it was worth a tweek and another go round.  It was certainly easy!

Chloe is home sick today from school, Liam's cold is still raging, and between sick kids and the nasty cloud I hardly slept.  I'm feeling it.  Thank God dinner is done and all I need to do otherwise is poach chicken for chicken salad pick-ups tomorrow.  The laundry is taunting me, so I'm going to try to throw myself into that fray and defend myself from its vicious explosions with much folding and washing.  *yawns* But first I need the fortification of coffee. 

BBQ Chicken Nachos

Yield: enough for a crowd

2 chicken breasts

1 bottle your favorite bbq sauce (yes, I did bottled this time).

1 of that bottle filled with water and shaken to get the rest of the sauce

1 good rub a dub of Old Bay Seasoning

sea salt and pepper

about 1 C sour cream

about 1 1/2 C shredded cheese of choice, sharp cheddars or gouda recommended

green onions, sliced

cilantro

banana pepper, diced

tortilla chips

In a crockpot, set the chicken breasts in and sprinkle with sea salt, pepper, and Old Bay.  Add the bbq sauce and water and cook on low for 6 hours.  Shred the chicken, stir in the sour cream and cheese until it melts.  On a serving platter layer the chips, top with the bbq chicken, then add the green onions, banana peppers, and cilantro.  Top with more sour cream, if desired.

I portioned what was left (and didn't go on nachos) into baggies.  The next night I made a yummy bbq chicken salad with it: romaine, hard-boiled egg, carrots, cucumber, green onion, pepper, the bbq chicken, and ranch dressing.

The other baggie has gone onto sandwiches for lunches.  Nice.  :)

You could also put this on a pizza and it'd be good.  Yay for multi-tasking recipes!

Remembering Your First Love

Today is Brian and mine's dating anniversary.  It's been 4 years.  Yes.  That short. Chloe is 3 and 2 months.  You do the math. We're overachievers. :)

It's really pretty much this entire week, so we just kind of pick a day around this time each year.  We usually don't celebrate it overmuch, choosing instead to just take the time to remember and reflect.  Both of those things are so helpful in growing love, I think - "remembering your first love," as the Book of Revelation puts it.

Yet, this year, we're celebrating.  We need to.  Relationships have phases, ups and downs some people would say, as two people learn and grow in their own lives and learn and grow with each other.  In a marriage you're on the same boat with that person, steering and rowing towards a common purpose, yet you're not THE boat - you're still two people.  One person can walk to the front of the boat and be the look-out, another can stare at the wake left behind.  Both can row, but if the rowing isn't coordinated you'll spin in a circle.

We've never spun in a circle, thank God, but we have been at opposite ends of the boat. The past 2 or 3 years when Brian was finishing school, I was working long and hard hours at the restaurant, then tried to go back to school (of all the stupid things), on top of having Chloe and then Liam.  Brian got a degree and entered the most uncertain job economy in recent memory. 

Easy to say that put a relative strain on our relationship: the physical factors involved, as well as the harder to see ones.  Ones we didn't even see at the time, but in the way the underside of the quilt suddenly makes perfect sense when you flip it over, now we do.  Put plainly, it all happened so fast for us, and I slid into that transition very simply - at the head of the boat, while Brian meandered back and forth for awhile, sometimes at the head with me, sometimes at the back, looking at the past. Yet, it is my firm belief, that remembering our first love helped us continue to grow our love and our relationship, to continue to work together and communicate, even when communication wasn't getting us very far. 

Your first love isn't all just the gooey feelings and excitement you have when you embark on a new love.  It's most importantly the foundation on which you build the rest of your relationship.  To keep the boat analogy consistent, I suppose it would be the frame - the long continuous piece of wood that is carefully bent and becomes the center point from which everything else is nailed.  Brian and I built a foundation quickly, yes, but we built it strong, with a lot of care and attention. If we hadn't, I'm frankly not sure we would have survived.

So we've flipped the quilt  We're done with one and now get to fold it neatly and put it in the cedar chest so we can pull it out to amuse the grandkids, or to keep someone warm with memories.  We chose love.  We chose forgiveness.  We chose communication even when it was nearly broken.  We always focused on our first love: the goals and shared visions that brought us together as two strangers, and the dreams.  Yet also the eyes.  Every day we would make a concerted effort to put different eyes on - the eyes we had when we were first falling in love, and look at each other through them. Suddenly, that habit or quirk isn't a sneak attack on whatever item we're discussing, it isn't purposeful button-pushing.  It becomes again that thing that we liked because it challenged us to be better people, to think outside our own box. 

A view of the canal.  Not the view he was drawing.  I'll take a photo when we're there today. :)

Brian and I first met on the canal.  He was doing a charcoal rendering.  I was walking with my ex-husband.  We stopped and chatted.  I admired the character of Brian, fearlessly attacking his paper, erasing something beautiful because he knew he could do it even better, stepping back and carefully assessing, then leaping forward to attack once more.  In a few short minutes of observing him drawing, I learned that he is bold, realistic and aware of his own capabilities, yet a very practical and critical thinker.  He exuded strength and gentility at the same time.  Our eyes met briefly, and in them I saw water.  Not meandering, gentle water - the kind that gently pushes the earth around it (the earth and water inside me), but rushing mountain water - the kind that cuts through the earth in violent and beautiful ways, forging new paths.  I knew then that I wanted to and would know him more. 

Brian painting in the Herron Junior Painting Studio (where and when he worked at the time we began dating).  We just realized we never photographed the canal drawing because Brian isn't all that thrilled with it.  He says I can take a picture of it now, so I'll post that later, too. :)

It may seem odd that I read so much in his body language and his eyes.  The meeting lasted 10 minutes if that.  Yet I was right, in all of it.  Brian is that man I saw - it's both his greatest strength and his greatest weakness.  Power is like that.  So we're going to the canal today - to the spot just behind Herron School of Art and Design where we first met.  Then to our tree in the quad on campus where we shared our first kiss.  Where he would slowly and shyly trace the small hole in my jeans on my kneecap and we would talk about Heloise and Abelard, electricity and magnetism, fearlessness and free-will. 

I do not think it's a coincidence that 1 year exactly from the date of my Grandmother's death, is when Brian and I fell in love and shared our first kiss under our tree.  It was here, without either of us really knowing what we were doing, that we built our foundation and framed our relationship life boat.  2 years after my Grandmother's death, on the exact date of her passing, we baptized Chloe, giving her my Grandmother's middle name.  3 years after my Grandmother's death, we became pregnant with Liam.  A circle.  Life from death.

After Chloe's baptism. :)

I dreamt of her, on the night before Chloe's baptism. She sat on the corner of our bed and smiled at me.  We walked together and held hands.  She was blurry, but I knew it was her.  We talked and I can't remember about what.  I just remember telling her as I began to wake and she began to recede that I was so glad we got to talk one last time. 

....

There is no graceful transitive sentence I can muster to get from that paragraph to this, where I will now apologize for not publishing the weekly menu and giving you a run-down of the week's food and the little news tidbits that give you a portrait of family life (Liam got a cold, it was a very tiring week.  'Nuff said).  :)  Brian left our camera at his office, so I have none of my pictures to upload, nor can I now photograph my weekly menu board.  I will publish a separate post tomorrow.  For now, maybe this post will help you kiss your spouse a little more today, or maybe it will just make you smile.  Or maybe you'll shake your head at me.  Who knows. :) All I know is I'm excited and I need to pick-up the house (again) before Grandma gets here to baby-sit, and get chicken with bbq sauce going in the crockpot for bbq chicken nachos - a much discussed idea amongst my mom's group yesterday and now a craving I must attempt. :)

Happy Saturday and Happy First Love Remembrance Day! :)

Count Your Blessings (and lots and lots of recipes!)

This has been a really wonderful week, as all the auspicious signs predicted last weekend. :) It was the first week I had customers come to pick-up yummies from the order page.  As soon as the first person left with her pot pie, I did a little happy dance in the kitchen.  It was just so magical to cook for a customer again - it filled me right up to the top and spurred me on the rest of the week.  I felt like cooking - like documenting it all. I suppose I felt more like a chef again! :)

That's how you know you're in the right profession.  Both Brian and I feel that each day. So, while we may not exactly be the richest family on the block, we know we are beyond blessed.  I finished reading Eat, Pray, Love the other night.  A lot of talk was given in that book surrounding mantras.  I thought about it, and I, too, have a mantra, though I rather call it a prayer.  A consistent, constant prayer, that I say each and every day at least twice: once upon waking, and once upon sleeping: God, please keep us safe, happy, and healthy.  That is all I want and need in life, and it's true.  Having more money would ease a lot of stress, sure, but it can't buy us happiness.  And we are! We are happy, miraculously healthy, and continue to be kept safe.  All we ask for is provided. 

I was so clearly reminded of this after grocery shopping this past week.  I had a minor melt-down.  OK, perhaps it wasn' minor - it was major.  A major public, snot shooting out of the nose because I'm literally weeping in the middle of Meijer kind of melt-down. 

Put simply, my kids weren't cooperating, I had a huge list for both food and a separate one for clothes, two sets of coupons in labeled plastic bagies to keep track of, two types of specials, two types of online/not-physically-present coupons, cash for one of the purchases, and the debit card for the other - each with a stringent budget.  When I got to the check-out and scanned the kids' clothes in, it was more than I expected.  Then my coupon wouldn't scan, which made me get flustered because now the more than I expected was not going to get any lower.  It was all still a good bargain, so I went for it and paid, then moved-on to the food.  I got to the end and it, too, was more than I expected.  I couldn't figure out what went wrong, so I felt forlorn and just paid.  It wasn't until I got to the car that I realized I hadn't put in my special number that would help me get all these special prices I'd just loaded up on.  I smacked my forehead - hard.  Said: "I am a huge jackass," and ran back inside with my receipt.  When I was told nothing could be done, and I'd just spent about 20 dollars more than I should have because I forgot a stupid number, I wept.  I just wept. 

I felt like I'd let my family down.  I felt overwhelmed and frustrated.  I used to love to grocery shop, my kids used to love to grocery shop, and now it just stressed all of us out.  I am, obviously, not one of those women that gets a kick out of couponing.

I felt mopey for a few days after that, yet diligently out of habit kept repeating my mantra.  One day, I realized what I was saying - these are the values I hold which are dearer to me than money or riches.  Health, happiness, safety.  These things cannot be bought, and the rest of it God always provides.  Sure enough, orders came in for food from the order page, and while it's not a lot by anyone's standards, it makes-up the gap of my paycheck, almost exactly. 

I'll just go ahead and say it. I don't keep secrets here. Before I lost my job, this family made about $33,000 a year.  That was enough for us.  Without my job, we now make $23,000 a year.  Brian's title "technical design engineer," may sound impressive, and it may be an amazing opportunity to climb the engineering ladder which he desperately wants (and he should because he's brilliant at it). But, the pay is terrible and there's just not much we can do about that part - there's not enough money at his place of work to pay him any more.  Yet God has provided.  He is giving us just enough.  All that we need, and that's all I ever ask for.

That is why, even now, I just feel so blessed in life by God.  So blessed.  I have a house we can still afford, and it wasn't even like a "we'll settle for this house." This was a "wow this house has almost everything we've wanted!" We have a car that runs and runs and runs without asking too much from us, food in our bellies and rewarding careers that make us happy. And most importantly - I have happy - SO HAPPY (like everyone always comments on their happiness) children.  I have safe children, living and growing-up in an amazing small town community.  And I have healthy children.  So many parents don't get healthy children that I simply cannot ignore what a huge blessing that is.

So I am happy.  I am happy to be cooking for people again.  Happy to be here, in the center of my home, surrounded by my children.  Happy to be sharing the week with you all - hoping to inspire someone to cook something, or even to just count your own blessings. 

I have done the grocery list for the week! I have only 2 coupons, but I'm not all that upset about it.  God has provided me with customers, happy customers at that, and so I feel really good.  Here's just a few meals I made this week.

Eat, Pray, Love Pasta (named by Amanda). :) In the book she describes a very simple Roman lunch of pasta, good cheese, and lots of pepper.  (recipe below!)

When in Rome..... make homemade caesar salad! (recipe below). :)

Beef stew.  My "I forgot how delicious my beef stew was, beef stew." :)  It has a laundry list of ingredients, but it is sooooo worth while. Recipe below and this will be featured next week on the order page!

Chicken pot pie filling ready for pick-ups! The top one is Aunt Sarah's. :)  She has actually ordered 4 meals a week from me, at 2 servings each.  I flat-rated this for her.  I will talk more about this below and on the order page if anyone is interested in a similar arrangement.

Napa Valley Pizza, which was one of the very first menu items available at WineStyles.  The smell of cutting into it brought me  back in a really good way. :) Recipe below!

Cappuccino Chocolate Chip Scones.  I shouldn't have to say much more than that. :) Recipe below!

Eat Pray Love Pasta
Yield: 6 servings

1/2 pound vermicelli noodles
1 C good hard Italian cheese plus extra for the top, grated (recommend parmigiano reggianno or pecorino romano)
1 T freshly ground pepper plus extra for the top (don't even bother if it isn't freshly ground)
1/2 C or so of the pasta water
 drizzle of good olive oil

In a large pot, bring salted water to a boil, cook the pasta to al dente (about 6 minutes), drain and reserve a cup of the pasta water. 

Meanwhile, grate the cheese and grind the pepper.  After draining, in your serving bowl, add the pasta and pepper, and 1/4 C of the pasta water.  Toss and if it needs to loosen more, add a little more pasta water.  And toss.  Drizzle in the olive oil and toss.  Sprinkle the top with extra cheese and pepper.  Serve very warm.

Caesar Salad
Yield: 4 servings

dressing:
1 t anchovy paste
3 T lemon juice
1 large clove garlic
1/2 t worcestershire sauce
ground pepper
2 t dijon mustard
2 egg yolks
1/2 C to 3/4 C olive oil

garlic croutons:
1 demi baguette
1/2 C butter, softened
3 T olive oil
2 T garlic powder
a sprinkle of sea salt
plenty of ground pepper
a bit of parmesan cheese

salad:
1 head romaine lettuce, washed and cut
dressing
extra parmesan cheese
garlic croutons

For the dressing: Combine everything but olive oil in a blender a puree for 30 seconds.  With the motor running, drizzle in the olive oil in a thin and steady stream until the dressing reaches your desired consistency (thick or thin, it's still delicious).  Set aside.

For the croutons: Slice the baguette and set it open-faced.  In a small bowl, combine the butter, olive oil, garlic powder, sea salt, pepper, and parmesan.  Slather it onto the bread.  Broil until it becomes garlic bread (stop here if having spaghetti!).  Slice it into chunks, toss them with just a bit more olive oil, and bake at 350 for 15 or so minutes, until crunchy - like croutons.  Set aside.

For the salad: Combine the romaine, croutons, and extra cheese in a bowl.  Drizzle in the dressing (less is more, you can always add after the first toss), and toss well with tongs.  Serve immediately.

Beef Stew
Yield: about 2 1/2 quarts (8 to 10 servings)

2 to 2 1/2 pounds boneless chuck roast, cut into pieces
4 T flour
1/4 C olive oil
2 T sea salt plus more to taste
2 T cracked pepper plus moe to taste
2 t ground coriander
1 T sugar
1/4 t cinnamon, divided
1 C spicy red wine (a full-bodied syah is recommended)
5 cloves garlic, mincd
2 onions, diced
5 carrots diced
4 stalks celery, diced
3 T buter
1 C peas
1/2 C corn
1 1/2 C potatoes, diced
a really good handful fresh flat-leaf parsley, chopped
1/4 t thyme
2 bay leaves
1/4 C mulled port wine jelly, apple butter, or other lightly sweet fruit jam
2 T worcestershire sauce
2 T red wine vinegar
2 T brown sugar
5 C beef stock

Mix together the sea salt, pepper, ground coriander, 1/8 t cinnamon, and the white sugar on a plate.  Rub the meat pieces all around in it and let set out for 30 minutes.  This helps the meat come to room temperature anyway.  Dredge the meat into the flour.

Heat a few turns of the pan of olive oil in a large stockpot over medium heat.  Add the meat in batches, letting it brown and removing to a plate.  Once every piece has browned, dump all the meat back in, with all the juices on the plate, add the butter and the carrots, celery, and onions.  Season with a bit of sea salt and pepper.  Place a lid on the pot and let cook for 15 minutes, until veggies have softened.  Add the wine and peas and reduce the wine by half.  Add the jelly, worcestershire sauce, red wine vinegar, brown sugar, beef stock, potatoes, thyme, bay leaves, parsley, 1/8 t more cinnamon, and another dash of sea salt and pepper.  Bring to a boil, reduce to a simmer, and cook at least 2 hours.  The potatoes will break-down and thicken the stew as it cooks.

Alternatively,  you can season the meat and coat in the flour and toss everythig into a crockpot and cook on low for 6 to 8 hours.  :)

Napa Valley Pizza
Yield: 1 large pizza

2/3 recipe my pizza dough with those instructions exactly (make 1 whole recipe and use a larger half)
1/2 package turkey smoked sausage, diced
1 C mozzarella cheese, fresh or shredded
1/2 C crumbled gorgonzola or blue cheese
3 large sprigs fresh rosemary, stemmed and chopped
1/4 C mulled port wine jelly (or apple butter or other lightly sweet fruit jam)

Par-bake the crust to nearly done as the directions state. Top with first the sausage, then cheeses, then the rosemary.  Do not add the jelly yet.  Broil under a high heat broiler for 5 minutes, or until done to your liking.  Remove.  Place the jam in a squeeze bottle and drizzle it over the warm pizza in a circular or zig zag pattern.  Serve. 

Cappuccino Chip Scones
Yield: 8 scones

1 C flour
1/4 C sugar plus extra for sprinkling
1 1/2 t baking powder
2 T cold butter
pinch salt
1/4 t cinnamon
1 egg
1 T heavy cream
2 T very strong coffee or espresso, cooled
1/2 C chocolate chips

In a mixing bowl, combine the flour, 1/4 C sugar, baking powder, salt, and cinnamon. Using your fingers and hands, rub and squeeze in the butter to the flour, until all the flour has been moistened by the butter.  In a small bowl, beat the egg lightly with the heavy cream and coffee, then add to the dry ingredients.  Combine with a rubber spatula until nearly together, then add the chocolate chips and kind of fold it all together. 

Knead it a few times on a lightly floured board, then cut it into 8 wedges like a pizza.  Dust with sugar. Bake on a parchment lined baking sheet in a 350 degree oven for 20 minutes. Serve warm or room temp.

Yay recipes! It's been awhile, everyone! Thanks for hanging in there with me. :) As with every week, here's what's coming up!

The lasagna and chicken noodle soup or both available on the order page RIGHT NOW! GO! The spicy veggie soup is a craving I got after sharing my recipe with a friend.  I also happen to have a few great coupons for V8, so there you go. :) The texas hash is my vegetarian recipe (that recipe without the meat - easy!) over some leftover cheddar mashed potatoes I had from turkey meatloaf night this week.  The Bavarian Sausage/Oktoberfest Meal is exactly what it sounds like: turkey smoked sausages, sweet n sour cabbage, sour cream and chive mashed potatoes, buttered peas, and beer for Brian.  :)  The Roman Pork pizza is an idea I had based on this recipe of mine that I enjoy, and yet another use for pulled pork.

If any of this is to your liking, I will say that Aunt Sarah is a very busy woman in high demand for all her amazing talents, and so is simply paying me a flat rate to provide her with 4 meals, of 2 servings each, throughout the week - rescuing her from expensive and rich carry-out, fast food, or even the totally lame TV dinner.  And I, frankly, love feeding her, so a win-win. :) The arrangement is simply meals from my dinners, so it's 4 meals out of this menu you see here.  If you are interested in an arrangement like this, email me at sahmchef@gmail.com and we can fix how many meals and a price.  Pick-up took place twice (on Tuesday and Thursday) and could have netted her 5 meals instead of 4. 

And that's all for now.  Vegetarian tortilla soup is bubbling happily in my crock-pot, Chloe is all amped for ballet, and Liam is sleeping away from his molars.  I will leave you all simply with an English translation of a quote from Dante (who is one of any English major's undisputed favorites).  I was reminded of it while reading Eat, Pray, Love and just felt it to be so perfect and so true. 

[God is] "that love which moves the sun and the other stars."

In other words, God's super-power is love, and it is so powerful, it sets all life into motion.  

And Into the New Week

Repeat after me: Chloe starts pre-school tomorrow!

Yay! I love summer.  I love the challenge of organizing fun things to do with my kids to enjoy all those beautiful summer days, but I think Chloe and I both are not unhappy to see its backside at present.  My sweet 3 year old has copped quite the attitude with me the past few days. 

Allow me to illuminate. We had her "preview day" at school last Thursday, which follows directly parent-teacher night on Wednesday.  Preview day is just an hour in the classroom for the kids to get acclimated with the safety of a parent or other trusted adult looking on.  I thought this was a wonderful idea for kids that might feel a little shy or uneasy about going to a new place without Mommy or Daddy.  Chloe, however, got in the room and was immediately busy having a blast.  After 15 minutes or so, she turned around, looked a little like, "Oh you're still here?" Then waved at me and said, "OK Bye Mom!" :) 

That one was precocious and cute, even if she did throw  tantrum over leaving and I had to sit her in a classroom chair and call it the naughty chair.  Yesterday, though, we went shopping at Costco with Grandma.  *groans* My kids are champion shoppers.  Truly.  They very rarely give me any hassle or incident, or anything but sunny happy faces.  There are those "3 Year Old Days" though when I can see the attitude as soon as Chloe wakes up and I think, "this will not be good."  Those are the days I usually shuffle plans around to make life easier on all of us, but when your plans for the day involve a fun parade followed by a very necessary shopping trip with a guest, there's just not much to do except to take a leap and hope for the best. 

She warmed up to the parade immediately, of course.  My parents went ahead of us and found a table on the Nancy Noel Gallery's porch.  Let me briefly interrupt this tirade about my beautiful daughter's attitude (whom I love more than anything), and write a ballad about the glories of this restaurant. 

This is the Nancy Noel Gallery on Main Street Zionsville (and these are my town-mates enjoying the longest small town parade ever - 2 hours!  I'm always amazed at how many people show-up to watch it because I think surely the whole town is already IN the parade. I wrote about this last year at length.) :)

Our table on the porch!

Mom (Grandma to the kids) and Liam enjoying some yummy refreshments

Chloe enjoying the music in her own special way as a marching band rolled by.  :)

I had heard she (Nancy Noel, famous artist and Zionsville resident) had quite the little cafe in her gallery, but had never had the opportunity to try it.  Serendipity intervened though and I found myself enjoying the Fall Festival Parade from the comfort of a gracious porch, with delicious iced tea and an equally delicious Mediterranean Platter appetizer that we'd gotten to be nice (we were all full from our breakfasts, but didn't want to take a table without ordering something).  After sampling the platter, though, we wished we weren't so full so we could eat more!

The remainders of the Mediterranean Platter.  I assure you it was gorgeous, and the fact that it's mostly gone is a testament to its yumminess.  The eggplant tapanade was o.m.g. delcious (it was in the far left upper corner). :)

A waitress came around with complimentary pastry samples and my heart did a flutter then a sigh as I bit into a pistachio macaroon filled with strawberry cream that was so light and airy I heard harps.  That free sample led me to order a mini cake crafted with such care I photographed it.

Photographing this is what made me realize I should be documenting more of this meal, hence the half-eaten Mediterranean Platter.  It was simply too good a find not to share with you all. 

Once I got into the mindset to take photos, I took a lot! Seriously I was so happy to have found this place! Here's a few of the best.

This is the interior restaurant in the Gallery.  You walk in to this beautiful achitecture everywhere, gorgeous art, and then keep on walking back to this cafe. 

the pastry case where those to-die-for mini cakes reside.  They had a whole pamphlet hand-out on, Ghyslain, the pastry chef from Quebec (and my new hero) behind this, and YES these are all available to order! Go! GO now!:)

The view of the cafe from what was the choir loft (when this was a church.... when I was little).  I had to get down, though, because I get vertigo.  I was a champ to get the shot! And yes, if you're not like me - there are some really cute and romantic tables up here. :)

One of her paintings that struck me. 

We stayed at the parade an hour - after arriving a little late - and called it quits right after the ginormous ZCS Middle School band did their thing.  Holy cow that must have been like 400 kids. :)  Brian took off with my Dad to go do man-fixing-stuff, and Mom came with me and the kids to do the shopping at Costco. 

I am aware that my kids are sleepy.  This is never a good thing to be aware of as you are about to shop, especially at an incredibly busy and somewhat frustrating place such as Costco.  Alas, I'm too far into it to stop, so off we go! Chloe does alright at first.  Then we see Ariel.  Or the Ariel Halloween Costume, rather.  Because of my recent unemployment, I had decided I would simply mend the pink and heart princess dress she plays princess in every.single.day, plop a tiara on her head and call her a princess for Halloween.  However, Chloe is 3 and doesn't see the practicality in this decision, and therefore lusts after this Ariel costume so fiercely that Grandma is ready to put back some of her purchases to get the costume for her.  I say no way Jose.  I get it, Mom.  I know.  She knows, too, but she's no longer The Mom, instead she's the Grandma - purveyor of all things wonderful and does not, therefore, have to be the mean one to stoicly wait out a tantrum.

I explain to Chloe calmly that Grandma wants to give her that Ariel costume as a present, but that she will have to wait for it.  Grandma will buy it next time, then bring it to Chloe and she will have it in time for Trick or Treat.  No dice.  My kid throws an unholy terror tantrum the likes of which I've not seen from her ever.  I try to ignore her.  It doesn't work.  I try to reason again.  It doesn't work.  I try to warn her,"You won't get it at all if you keep this up." It doesn't work.  So, I find an empty aisle, set her on the floor, tell her this is the naughty corner in this store, and walk away from her - hiding behind some stacks of boxes so I can keep an eye on her. 

Adults walk past her in alarm: Is she lost? Where's her mother? Then they see me and scowl.  I just stare back at them like, "What? You've never seen a public time-out?  Keep on movin'.  Fruit snacks are that way." After 3 minutes I go to Chloe, reiterate everything, then ask her if she's sorry.  I know my daughter.  She wants to apologize.  But the words don't come.  Her stubborn won.  So.... I walk away again.  I'm sure by now I am pure evil to the crowd on onlookers, but whatever.  I'm having a teachable moment, it just doesn't involve rainbows and unicorns, ok? The next time I come back, I don't have to ask.  She says she's sorry, hugs me like the dickens, and then I scoop her up and love on her like nothing bad just happened.  That's what you do when your 3 year old does the right thing. 

Oh there's more examples I could give to fully explain just how happy Chloe is and I am that she starts school tomorrow, but surely those 2 suffice.  And wasn't the restaurant review thrown haphazardly into the middle a nice breather? I didn't want to stress you out. :)

And we're walking! OK.  So it's the beginning of a new week and a new weekly menu.  Before we get to that, I just have to say that I wish my photos of my French Onion Soup had turned out because it was masterful.  I guess it's been more than several years since I last made it because I've never made it for Brian.  Uh.  Whoops. :)  It's such a classic soup and I'm not sure he'd even ever had it!  If you want a good recipe, Tyler Florence has a good one on foodnetwork.com.  I use 1 less garlic clove than he does, dried thyme instead of whole sprigs, and about 1/2 C of cognac instead of red wine (which is so worth the purchase and will stretch a lot further in the long run).  Then I homemade some garlic croutons with lots and lots of pepper and do swiss cheese and provolone cheese.  Other than that, though, it's almost exactly the same. 

The only other thing of note that I photographed was the weekly pizza. 

Sorry it's a little fuzzy - I couldn't get my light reading right.  Anyway - it was rollover cilantro lime shredded pork taco pizza: cilantro-lime pork, sofrito rice, a monterey jack cheese sauce, black beans, cilantro, shredded lettuce, and crushed tortilla chips.  I had such a splitting headache this is all I could do - mushroom alfredo seemed a bridge too far for some reason.  This was stuff I'd made and just had to put in a different order on the pizza. :)

What can I say.... I've lost a little of my oomph.  It's hard to lose one's job, especially if that job is a part of your identity - a place you find fulfillment and joy.  I suppose I cook a little like a performer acts - it helps when I have an audience, or a customer, in mind to spur my creativity.  I also wasn't sleeping for like, a week and a half, a whole insomnia worry issue that just beat me down ragged.  Blessedly, last night Brian took the kids and I went to bed and did sleep.  12 whole hours (Thanks honey)!!! So, I feel a lot better.  A little more me.  I even baked bread, made muffins, got the kitchen scrub a dubbed and ready for more canning, and am off to a good start for the week, I think. 

I know it's been a while since I posted a recipe, and I thank you all for understanding the time I need to take.  The writing is therapeutic, the process necessary.  I'm hopeful soon that I'll start having amazing ideas for new recipes, but for now I'm revisiting older ones with the same kind of sentiment with which one gazes at their high school yearbook.  In truth, this time has given me a break-through of sorts on the cookbook - a chronology that offers a linear organization, a clear purpose that it lacked before.  So, I'm thankful and in the meantime enjoying looking back and remembering.

Anyway. This is the first week I'm offering take-home-yummies from the order page.  I had some pot pies get ordered, so those will be getting made and be ready for pick-ups this week.  I've gone ahead and put the coming week's availability on the page to give you more time to get orders in.  And other than that, here's what's for dinner this coming week!

The beef stew is an old recipe, but I've not shared it here so it'll be new for you all! The roman pepper pasta comes from the book I'm reading Eat, Pray, Love (an excellent read, by the way!). In her Italy leg of her trip she describes this incredibly simple Roman lunch of pasta with good cheese and lots of pepper, so we're going for it! In the book they used pecorino romano, but I've got a whole hunk of parmigiano reggiano from my work kitchen so I'll just use that. I'm sure the romano will be better, but c'est la vie. The napa valley pizza is a favorite from WineStyles and getting made because a customer of mine is picking up her pot pie and bringing some fresh rosemary to me.  If you recall, Liam kept digging up my rosemary this year and it died. *shakes head* It just smelled too good, apparently. :) So, I've had no fresh rosemary this year, which is a bummer because this is one of my favorite pizzas.

Well that's all for now folks. :)  I'm tired. There's more laundry that needs doing before school and dishes that need getting done.  As always, thanks for listening.

Cycling Through

Today is the 10th Anniversary of the September 11th Attacks.  I just happened to sit down at the computer at 9:11 exactly, which I took to be a good sign and paused for just a bit to remember where I was.  I was working at Disney, in the Magic Kingdom, opening-up Enchanted Grove and Toontown restrooms.  A manager of mine emerged from the Enchanted Grove backstage entrance, motioned me over, and whispered something about the White House being attacked and that we were at war.  I blinked a few times, then woodenly turned into the entrance myself so I could join what was becoming a small crowd of my castmates huddled in the breakroom.  I entered just a few minutes before the second plane hit the second tower.

There was no reaction - not screams or intakes of shock when that happened.  We all were just silent.  Still as statues.  I just happened to be carrying the radio that day (one person in each custodial unit in each land got one for communication).  It, too, was silent. 

Not knowing what else to do because our radios were all silent, we realized we had a park that had just opened and thousands of happy and completely clueless as to the mornings' events tourists on vacation that needed tending.  One by one we all left the breakroom.  I was 19.  I'd voted for Al Gore in my first presidential election.  I was living far away from home or anyone I knew.  And my whole world had just changed.

I woodenly went about my Disney business, nodding and smiling at happy people as I walked past.  I felt like I wanted to throw-up.  I felt like I should scream at them all to leave now.  The parents already bickering with the kids about rides and behavior made tears stream down my face. 

A half hour later the park officially closed.  Castmembers did what we were trained to do in evacuation plan whatever (I cannot now remember what level or name it had) and lined-up, creating a human barrier wall for guests to walk down - a straight shot from where I was at the tea cups down Main Street and out the gates to the happiest place on Earth.  Angry guests still not knowing what had happened spat on me and cussed at me.  Because nothing bad is supposed to happen in Disney World, I did not say anything in response.  I just stood still.  We all did. 

After the last guest left the gates, the music stopped.  The stillness that had occupied all of us castmembers overtook the park.  I'd never been in the park when there was no music - no sounds at all - not action.  It was like a ghost town.  We patrolled Tomorrowland and Toontown looking for suspicious packages left behind in case they were bombs.  I was happy not to have found any.  Then we walked silently to Casey's Corner on Main Street and met-up with the rest of our custodial castmembers. 

And there we sat.  For what seemed an eternity in the shadow of beautiful Cinderella's Castle, which murmered among us as number 7 or 8 on the target list.  I wondered why we were sitting there, but no one said anything.  I was assigned next to go out by myself to BDO (bus drop off) and look for any more suspicious packages.  I remember thinking that, at least with the music off, if I got blown-up, people would hear it and come running.  Again I didn't find anything.

We weren't allowed to leave.  The whole park was picked over for suspicious activity, then we slowly and silently retreated to the tunnels and into main street breakroom.  There we watched the TV and the flood of news stations.  There we waited for what seemed another eternity in silence before finally we were released to go home.  I can only assume we were held as a response against a potentially hazardous swarm of panicked bodies and cars. 

See, in order to leave work at the Magic Kingdom, one has to go to the tunnel's end and grab a bus, which transports you to the castmember parking lot about 7 minutes away.  Then one has to leave the castmember lot, through 2 exits, and feed back into the main roads from the winding backstage roads before being spat out onto the harrowing and nailbiting experience of I-4. 

My parents were in town.  I was away from home and scared, but by some miracle my Mom and Dad were down visiting.  Having heard the news first thing that morning, they had tried to come to the Magic Kingdom to smuggle me away from work.  They were next in line at the ticket counter when the park closed.  I got off the cast bus, found my car, turned the key and gave a little wave to some friends in my rear-view mirror.  I knew I would remember that view forever - what it looked like when the world shifted.  I drove as fast as a I could to the hotel my parents were staying in, and pulled the covers over my head before going to sleep.

The Stay-at-Home-Chef: At Home

Good evening everyone! There's been an idea tumbling around in my brain for some time now and, given my recent unemployment and all, I decided to just go for it.  So let's see what happens!  I'm launching the Stay-At-Home-Chef: At Home.  This is for local Indiana residents that want to order food on the Order Page and come pick it up at my house! How exciting: you get to eat delicious food and see my hopefully not terribly messy house in person. :)  If it is messy - be kind.  There are small kids running rampant and I do pick-up twice a day. :)

So...yay! This week it's Family Heirloom Chili and Lavender Chicken Pot Pie! Hurry up and order because I didn't give you a heck of a lot of time for this first week.

In other news, I just have to share this super cute Chloe moment.

We were picking carrots from the garden for chicken pot pie this afternoon and all of a sudden she stopped and said, "Hold on! I'll go get hat."  :) It's actually a pumpkin topper from her Halloween costume last year (soon to be recycled as Liam's costume this year), but it does look kind of like a carrot, too.  Super cute. :)

Enter Title Here

*Gah! I published this without a title.  I hate it when I do that.......*

Well summer just had to get one last laugh, I guess.  The past several days have been way too hot for it to be September. :)  Today, though, has been a dream of overcast skies and gentle, cool fall breezes that have already sent a few leaves bustling down into our yard.  Yay!

This past week has been busy! Since my sad news was announced, I've just thrown myself into canning, cooking, and trying to move on with a positive attitude.  I had to go over and clear out my work kitchen, which was hard.  I tried to just focus on the task at hand so I wouldn't cry, then took some pictures so I could look back on it and cry later. :)  It's a wonderful thing to have so many positive memories of a place of work, and I feel monumentally blessed that 3 years of my life were filled with that place.  But, it's time to move on now.  Wondrous things may be in store.  Or they may not.  One way or another, life continues on. 

I had quite a few canning successes this week, and only one failure.  I made 4 quarts of marinara sauce, 2 quarts of sliced peaches, 6 pints of tomato jam, and would have had 4 pints of peach honey.  The peach honey, however, was my failure.  I simply over-reduced it and it burnt.  It went from tasting like heaven to tasting awful in about 5 minutes flat, so let that be a lesson to me for future peach honey making. :) 

This is my canning pantry/kids' art supply closet. Still pretty bare, but I'm working on it! :) 

The marinara recipe I used was delicious! I opened a jar for a last-minute dinner one night and thought it would be a good reason to taste-test the recipe anyway.  I used the Family Secret Tomato Sauce recipe from the Animal, Vegetable, Miracle book.  It's already safe for water bath canning, and since I'm a new canner I did not want to chance spoilage by tweeking it any.  :)  It was much different than my usual marinara sauce, but I liked it.  Reminded me a little of Iaria's, actually.  :) 

The Family Secret Tomato Sauce recipe calls for tomato puree, which if you have read the book you know is not from a can but from home-grown tomatoes.  She doesn't give details on how to get the tomato puree, so I figured I'd better tell you all what I did in case you wanted to replicate it. 

I did a half recipe.  So, I bought 15 pounds of roma tomatoes from the farmer's market.  I brought a big pot of water to a boil, prepared a big pot of ice water, and began dropping handfuls of tomatoes into the boiling water for 30 to 45 seconds, then removing them to the ice water for about 1 minute, then setting them aside.  Then I just sliced one end of the tomato and the peel slipped right off.  I reserved all the peels and cuts in a bowl and set that in the fridge. This process took me one hour.

With 15 pounds of whole peeled tomatoes ready to go, I set a medium hole colander over a big bowl and began squeezing the tomatoes in my hands, letting the seeds and juice run out, and reserving the tomato meat in a mixing bowl set next to me. 

This process took about 20 minutes.  At the end of squeezing, I set a very fine mesh colander over a measuring cup and poured my bowl of tomato seeds and juice over it.  This strained out all of the seeds and left me with beautifully clear tomato juice, which I set into the fridge with the tomato peels and trimmings. 

Then I just rinsed my crushed tomatoes to get out any lingering seeds, though a few stragglers aren't going to hurt.  You want most of the seeds out because they're quite bitter and will affect the flavor of the sauce.  You want most of the peels out because they'll not be a very pleasing texture after being canned.  A little water remained in my rinsed tomatoes, which was fine, so I just set the pot on the heat, let them simmer for about a half an hour, then pureed them with my immersion blender.  Ta da! Tomato puree, which became marinara sauce with a few more additions and a few hours of simmering. :)

If you were paying attention, to all of that, I believe we just went through all of the tomato cans except paste: whole peeled tomatoes, crushed tomatoes, tomato juice, tomato puree, and obviously you could figure out how to dice the tomatoes from the whole peeled.  All of those are good to can by themselves, but I was after sauce with this batch and tomato jam from the leftover peels/trimmings and juice I'd saved. 

The tomato jam from the leftovers was an experiment because the tomato jam recipe calls for whole tomatoes, as well.  I was just hoping to get something close from the waste.  What I wound up with is a really cool tomato jam ketchup - a spicy, sweet, yummy concoction perfect for dipping french fries, putting on meatloaf, or for use on a pizza, like I did with the bison sauce, tomato jam, and hot pepper pizza a few weeks ago. 

tomato jam ketchup simmering away

 I used the tomato jam recipe from Food in Jars that I raved so much about in the bison sausage pizza post, but since I didn't have whole tomatoes, I had to tweek it.  I figured it would be ok since there's so much lime juice in the recipe.  I took my peels and trimmings (which was about 1 1/2 pounds worth), my 4 cups of tomato juice leftover, and then 4 ounces of tomato paste I had in my freezer and continued on with the recipe as normal.  I think the paste is what turned it ketchup, but honestly I didn't think it would set-up to jam without more tomato meat. 

 The Food in Jars blog has been a tremendous help to me in learning to can.  I have a tomato plant that has decided to produce nothing but beautiful ripe yellow cherry tomatoes this season, so imagine by delight when I was reading her blog and came upon this recipe for yellow tomato and basil jam.  That's on the to-do list for next week because I think that just sounds like heaven on a pizza, whisked into a salad dressing, or layered in a caprese salad.  *drools*

The peaches were easy.  I followed these very simple directions from the Pick Your Own website, then followed another set of instructions for the peach honey.  The only reason the honey did not turn out was my error of execution.  I used 12 C of light simple syrup for 2 quarts of peaches (deliberately a lot because I knew I wanted peach honey).  I brought a big pot of water to a boil, slipped the peaches in just like I did the tomatoes.  Reserved the peach peels and trimmings, just like the tomatoes.  Sliced the peaches, dropped them in the simmering syrup, then packed them into jars.  Done! I took all the leftovers, plopped them into the leftover syrup (which was 6 cups worth) added 2 more cups of sugar, and simmered that for as many hours as I could give up the big burner on the stove.  I then put that into the fridge to marinate for 3 days before messing with it some more.

3 days later, when I tasted the peach syrup, it had a divine peach flavor.  I was elated! The instructions for the peach honey said just to add a hint more sugar (I did 1 C more) and simmer down, which I did.  I wanted to add bee honey towards the end, which I did in the amount of 1 cup.  I tasted, it tasted like peach honey! Then I decided it wasn't thick enough.  Which I think was wrong - it would have been thick once cooled.  The photo on the website seems rather thick, but I question whether that was taken during boiling.  Dunno.  Either way, I should have quit, and I didn't.  Burnt honey does not taste good. 

The peach honey I thought would work beautifully in meat glazes and bbq sauces, as well as on biscuits and the like.  Plus, what a yummy way to have peach hot tea in the mornings! So, yeah, I failed.  I'll try again. :)

Alright, well it's Sunday and the start of a new weekly meal plan.  Last week was so crazy I don't even know what my menu said.  I think I wound up making most of it, but I really can't say.... that's how little I looked at my board.  :)  In one of the great ironies of my life, I went from doing the Bean and Rice Challenge out of feared necessity, to now having an absolute abundance of food.  You see, I got to keep all the food from my work kitchen.  My chest freezer is full, my regular freezer is full, my pantry is full, my new baker's rack (it was our outdoor garden supply shelf) is full, the bottom of my canning pantry is full... .you get the idea.  :)  So, instead of losing my job and experiencing a food shortage, my family now has supplies that will help us with grocery costs for many months.  What a blessing!

So there's the new menu.  Those poor morrocan beans have been on for the last 3 weeks.  They sound delicious.  I'm not sure why they never get made. :)  I decided to try something different, thinking maybe it might help me budget a little easier, if I broke the meal plan into certain nights we do each week.  So, there's pizza night, pasta night, soup night (now that the weather's turning), crockpot night (a big help on Friday's since Chloe has ballet at 4:30pm), and vegetarian night.  Then I have 2 free nights to do whatever floats my boat. :)  Sounds good to me, we'll see how it goes!

OK.  Last little bit here and then we need to rap this up.  Some news I received has been making me sad.  Someone I thought was my friend, it turns out wasn't.  I think she was mad at me, but never told me she was.  If she'd told me, I would have apologized.  Because she didn't, several relationships have suffered for 2 long years.  My pastor preached on this this morning, and it was one of those Sundays where I wanted to stand up and shout and go "oh that's for me!" You see, this woman hurt me, too.  I tried to forgive and forget.  I tried to keep the relationship going.  I called, I wrote, I sent presents.  I never received anything in return, which made all of my efforts at forgiveness turn to resentment. 

2 convictions today thanks to Matthew 18. I should not have to wait for her to listen to my sad story of hurt in order to forgive her.  Forgiveness is an individual verb - an action taken by one person, and that person alone.  I had the power for the past 2 years to release myself from this prison of resentment, only I didn't because I felt my anger was justified, and it felt so much easier to hold onto it. That was wrong. The second conviction applies to both of us, she could have confronted me with her anger, which was the catalyst here.  Had she not been angry with me, a lot of things that later on hurt my feelings would never have happened.  Had she simply confronted me with her anger, we could have discussed it, sorted it, and moved on.  She didn't.  I could have tried to talk to her.  I had actually intended to but didn't find the "right opening" the last time we saw one another.  I regret that now, not knowing it was my last chance. 

Conflict is good.  Conflict leads to stronger bonds.  There are three things God tells us are a requirement of any healthy relationship: listening, caring, and forgiveness.  This relationship that has ended could have been saved if those three things remained intact.  Instead, it festered and died.

At any rate.  I released that resentment during church today.  Whatever hurt I felt so justified to keep is now gone.  I wish I could talk to her to say I was sorry for upsetting her, but I cannot.  Thus, I'm writing these words on the off-chance she reads them. 

Alright.  That's all I've got folks.  Have a wonderful Labor Day.